The Chinese Drill for Oil Off Florida! Right?

The Phone Call, this time Carl Rove calls the Vice President 32

The voice on the line was staid and overly confident. “The Vice President cannot receive your call right now. Can I take a message?”

The answer boomed through the speaker. “Hell no you can’t take a damned message! This is Carl Rove. Put me through. NOW!”

Again, the practiced nonchalance of the aide’s voice droned ahead. “The Vice President doesn’t wish to speak with you right now, sir.”

The growing agitation of the caller gradually rose to a whining aggression. “He’d better by God wanta’ talk to me! Who in the hell does he think he is?”

The aide offered a well rehearsed, yet veiled, alternative. “Sir, if you continue in that tone, I will be forced to refer your call the Secret Service. The Vice President does not wish to speak with you at this time. I will inform him that you called. Now, good day.”

Now the caller exploded in a sickening insistence. “The hell you will! Get that son-of-a-bitch on the telephone. Tell the pushy little bastard that he’ll regret handling me this way.”

Suddenly, background conversation could be heard as the phone was clearly passed to the Vice President. “Listen up, you fat little prick. You don’t work here any more. I don’t have to take your goddamned phone calls if I don’t want to. And, you don’t ever threaten me, Rove! Those days are over!”

The caller’s voice settled into a frightening, yet outwardly calm intensity. “Cheney, you better hear what I have to say. I’m calling because George asked me to.”

“So what?” the Vice President yelled. “Like I care what you’re doing. What does he want this time, the little chicken shit is too creepy to pick up his own phone?”

“He called me from Air Force One in route back from Paris. A bunch of his Senators called him, complaining about what you said.” the caller droned on.

“Hey, hear me say this. I’ll say any goddamned thing I want to, any time I like. What the hell business is it of yours?” the Vice President snapped.

“You told another whopper with that crap about the Chinese and the Cubans drilling for oil off the Florida coast. I thought we agreed that you’d stop lyin’ after we got the war started.” Rove rolled on. “Now that Texan is crawlin’ out of his frickin’ head with the impeachment crap, and you have to jump in with this stuff!”

“Just back the hell off, Rove. That crowd loved it. Not like you ever fired up an audience.” the Vice President answered, maneuvering for the upper hand.

“It was a lie and you knew it! The whole goddamned country is already up in arms, and now you throw gasoline on the fire. You’re gonna’ lose this election for us, you stupid son-of-a-bitch.” Rove continued. “I’m trying to put this mess back together for the President, and you’re out spewing more crap. If Obama is the next President, you know what, well, you know what that means.”

“Don’t threaten me, you little out of work twerp! I’m the one who survived this disaster, and you’re the one who his got his ass fired. Don’t forget that!” the Vice President answered.

“Okay, Cheney. You can just find a civil tongue. I don’t need any abuse from the likes of you! Smoking gun like a mushroom cloud. What an idiot!” Rove answered in a calculating tone.

“Okay, big shot. Where are you right now?” the Vice President answered ominously.

“I’m in my bunker at an undisclosed location, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still make things happen if I need to.” Rove replied.

“Yeah, like what?” the Vice President taunted.

“Like having Scooter get into a talkative mood, that’s what. And, bet your ass, there’s lots more.” Rove countered. “Don’t push me, you sterile nobody.”

The ex-aide continued. “You don’t say smack no more! Get it? I’ve got my hands full managing what monkey’s we got left in the House. In case you didn’t notice, they’re retiring like flies. The ones that are left are terrified. No one can be trusted.”

“By the way, I’m not fired.” Rove added calmly.

“Oh yeah? Says who, you loser?” the Vice President shot back.

“Says Bush 41, that’s who. He’s reorganized me and the rest of the Iran Contra team to try to save 43’s legacy. We got marchin’ orders, Cheney. What have you got?” Rove asked indolently.

After a pause, “Okay, I’ll pull back. What do you want? A retraction?” the Vice President asked.

“No. That’s only gonna’ make it worse. I’m just telling you to shut up for the next seven months. No more bomb Iran. No more Muslim rumors. I got rid of Clinton and I can damned sure get rid of you. Got it?” Rove hung up.

Ignore the Man Behind the Curtain

Blog doc 22 The Rest of the Story? Where’s Paul Harvey when we need him?

Gee whiz. It would be wonderful if the campaigners would just stick to the issues. Well, we might need a bit of media honesty as a prelude to such a happy development. “The Rest of the Story” has to do with what the next Democratic President will do to correct all these insults.

It’s hard to ask for answers when you don’t know the questions.

So, what are the questions? Here are a few that seem to pop up in the media blackout.

In The News: Stuff that doesn’t seem to really be done yet.

Children’s health care: Okay. It got vetoed. Then what? Did we just give up? How can we find the facts about this?

National debt: 10 Trillion Dollars. Okay. Exactly what did we buy? This doesn’t include the war money we borrowed from China. How can we find the facts about this?

Global Warming: Right. We can’t do anything right now. The crooks need to get organized so they can loot all the money we’re going to spend. Plus, President Genius still thinks it is a faith based problem. How can we find the facts about this?

NAFTA: This is an awful thing that nobody did. All the awful things it did to American workers and business aren’t actually awful. It has to stay awful forever because there is nothing that can be done about something that nobody actually did. Besides, nobody ever even thought it was a good idea. How can we find the facts about this?

Veterans Administration: Simple. Don’t pay for what it needs. After the rats and the cockroaches are gone, shut up the story and say weird things about all the folks who won’t support the troops. Whatever the problem is, they did it. How can we find the facts about this?

Medicare Pharmaceutical Bill: See, it is bankrupting the country. It is the very best bill that could be written by the folks who get the money from bankrupting the country and passed by the Very Responsible Republicans in the Congress. At 3 AM. Was this the same phone call? Plus, it proves that universal health care is impossible. Or, at least, could be impossible if we let these same folks steal all the money. How can we find the facts about this?

Congressional Subpoenas: These are faith-based subpoenas. The President and his cronies have faith that these subpoenas should never be served. They don’t want to be war criminals or fraud felons. How can we find the facts about this?

Crooked Elections: This only happened once in Ohio. And Florida. And, it didn’t really even happen at all. If it had actually happened, the Democrats would have done something about it before the next election. So. It will be a thunderous landslide for McCain. Or maybe Bob Dole. We should call all the electronic voting machines back from Iraq. And Mexico. Do we export democracy or crooked elections. Right? Right? How can we find the facts about this?

K-Street: These lobbyists are actually the only people anywhere who actually know what the voting electorate of the country really wants. They haven’t done such a bad job of running the Congress they bought. Oh yes, they are a little expensive compared to Federal campaign financing, but how could anyone run the government just based on what we think? How can we find the facts about this?

Federal Prosecutors: Did they throw them out for political reasons or not? Their world doesn’t end with a bang. It ends with a whimper. Who possibly cares what happened, anyway? In fact, who hasn’t already been confused enough? Who hasn’t forgotten all about it? Harriet Meiers? Dick Cheney? How can we find the facts about this?

Signing Statements: What right thinking President wouldn’t want to just keep going with them? Do we really need to write legislation to resurrect the Constitution or what? How can we find the facts about this?

Habeas Corpus: Why should we worry about some faith-based problem in the Magna Carta? Anyway, we might figure it out while we are racing for a trial before death from old age. Especially if we start while we are still young. Think about it. With no trials we would get even with all those lawyers. How can we find the facts about this?

911 Commission: Uh, weren’t there supposed to be two parts to this thing? Maybe Bush’s toady who was running that outfit just got too embarrassed. You know, maybe about the faith-based collapse of building seven. Just remember: “They hate our freedom.” I guess. Keep moving. There is nothing to see here. Everything is exactly what we said it is. How can we find the facts about this?

Governor Siegelman: The Republicans cheated this Alabama Governor out of his election. Then they threw him in prison. Then they threw away the key. Boy, oh boy, does this baby ever stink! Faith-based justice? No, It just stinks. How can we find the facts about this?

Torture: If a certain draft-dodger says it isn’t torture, well, that means it isn’t torture. Yes, of course it is disgusting, but more than anything else, it is grotesque. Like the rest of it. How can we find the facts about this?

War Profiteering: Harry Truman was a trouble making fire brand. This is not treason. It is not treason because it is less than a trillion dollars. That means it is a misdemeanor. Right? No need to investigate. Move along. Nothing happening here. How can we find the facts about this?

Outing CIA Operative: Well, this bitch was asking for it. After all, it was her mean old husband who tried to embarrass the President when he was lying about yellow cake in the State of the Union. She needed to mind her own business, the harpy. Oh, it was her business. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. Dick Cheney can’t go to jail because he has a heart condition, a pardoning President and a string of failed Attorneys General. How can we find the facts about this?

Scooter Libbey: While we are at it, let’s see. The Special Prosecutor was supposed to figure out what happened. Scooter obstructed. The President commuted. Dick Cheney is as innocent as the driven snow. That’s it. Move along. Nothing happening here. How can we find the facts about this?

Federal Election Commission: (See also “Crooked Elections”) The FEC can’t really do anything because nothing really actually happened. Anyway, the FEC can’t do anything because there aren’t enough commissioners to vote in a quorum. So, that means there isn’t any election fraud. It also means that whatever McCaine did with his federal money is, well, okay. Right? You bet! How can we find the facts about this?

Katrina Reconstruction: God sent the hurricane to drive all the evil Democrats and other wrong colored people somewhere else. Now, New Orleans is a Republican city and all the bad people are just sitting there whining about the poison gas in their trailers. For $60 Billion it was a good deal. You know, heaven sent. “Great job, Brownie!” Did everyone get their money? How can we find the facts about this?

Iraq intelligence: No. No. No. It wasn’t a bunch of cheap oil stealing lies. It was an honest mistake. Anyway, what does it matter now? Do you possibly think that sacrificing General Powell didn’t hurt the President? You bet it did! So. It was faith-based intelligence about Jesus and Crusades and stuff. What else could we have possibly done? How can we find the facts about this?

Science: Certain complaining voters want their money back for all the science they paid for that got crapped by the faith-based truth squads. Stem cells, global warming, NASA. What a bunch of whiners. What do all these voters even know about something like this, anyway? Come on. How can we find the facts about this?

We are clearly living in an engineered environment where the autocrat is insulated from the consequences of these deceptions. Amazingly enough, we citizens have actually bought into the propaganda message that there are no consequences! Somewhere in this preliminary list are at least a couple of ideas for questions for one of those “debates.” Still, maybe it is better to talk about patriotism. “If Rev. Wright were a talking frog, and he said the bitter thing, would he be more patriotic than you are?” After all, we must not forget that “They hate our freedom.”

Thanks for the Education, George!

Blog doc 17 How Much Reconstruction?

Soon there may be a legitimate President in the White House, one which has honestly won an election, one which has campaigned with some sort of implied promise to purge not only the fiscal effects of criminal looting from our economy, but also the wild psychology of the adolescents who have looted our national resolve with their puerile fear mongering.

The cleansing of Abramhoff, DeLay and others of their ilk was a mere scratch on the surface. Granted, each of these minor abrasions revealed more and more of the incredible “classism” of a spoiled draft dodger with the ambitions of an eight year old. As American people, we are cynically adapted to the idea that we will be robbed by “a thousand cuts” no matter who has reached power [Similar to “Being nibbled to death by ducks.”]. However, this time even our long suffering numbness has been insulted by crassness and savage incompetence as we have patiently watched ourselves being robbed.

Civility has been a problem. Any public American has been reluctant to openly and brazenly refer to the executives of the country as “criminals,” or “liars,” or even “corrupt fear manipulators.” No public speech has stood to say clearly that we are foolish and cowardly victims of our own fears, that we are presently suffering the consequences of our failure to stand up as adults when it was the moment for us to face our challenges.

It may be time to reconsider our classical past. Can we reasonably suspect that the Roman Senators would have been so sheepish in either speech or action given the general historical image of their ambitions? Of course, there were limits within such a body, some imposed directly by fear of the consequences of being too blunt or overly suggestive of acts of political competition. Still, we have to assume that even the “low bar” of Roman Senatorial speech in such a place was significantly more direct and specific than the mouse-like drivel of our day, oration filled with obfuscation, blurry generalities and innuendoes.

We must now consider whether or not our blurry, modern concept of oration will ever possibly be direct enough to be a foundation for the correction of the improprieties which have been foisted upon us by our present autocrat. George Bush’s puerile, adolescent attacks on American Constitutional Law have been neither sophisticated, that is, of such a complex and subtle nature as to not manifest themselves in concrete absolutes of criminality, nor hidden away beneath layers of conditional possibilities which might sustain any question about their seriousness. Very little effort has been made in an attempt to present these crimes as confoundingly complex, to establish a continuing idea in our thoughts as citizens that perhaps, “We wouldn’t be so upset if we actually knew more about these matters.”

It is clear, now, that neither our educated and critical opinions nor even our unbiased intuitions have been given any weight in the autocrat’s concerns. He has simply acted, in the behavior of a young boy, to consolidate any advantage he perceives possible, regardless of the appearance of such an act to us. This may represent a greater affront to the citizen than the actual substance of such crimes. Of course, the scandalous actions of his government and his cronies constitute a direct and material loss to us, but his willingness to act in these ways without an accompanying attempt, no matter how mediocre, to at least confuse our perception of such crimes is nothing less than an arrogant and magnificent insult.

In the first case, we might, when our government has become reestablished after the election, launch out in a revolutionary frenzy to expose every tiny instance of his record. Every lie, every cheap manipulation through false fears, every instance of greed and looting, every corrupt redistribution of power, every grotesque “religious” ambition, and every other destruction of our cultural heritage -- legal, economic, social and in spirit -- might be revealed. Once the perpetrators and the abettors and the benefactors have been identified, the next phase of such a reconstructive undertaking might reasonably be a Stalin-esque purge of these parasites.

If this response were selected, the most notable of these self-descriptive elitists should experience the horror of the prisons they like so much, that is, not the “tennis-court” incarceration always mysteriously provided for the careless criminal nobility of the past, but the “real thing” inhabited by the victims of their own inspired, self-righteous laws. It would present them with another, so-far unexplored, opportunity to not only flesh out their claims to populist ideology, but also to establish an environment for them to learn new and exciting lessons about life in hopeless, endless terror. You know, Iraqi civilian style.

The alternative would be one extracted from a more Sunday School response to these attacks we have suffered. Because we will be so occupied with new challenges necessary to “get America moving again,” we might, in the shade of reconciliation and economy, just let these things go, just think of the future, just let the past die its own death.

Pursuing this alternate path, we might feel certain that the rest of the world would be quite reassured to notice that Americans are not vindictive, that they really only care about such luxuries as justice and honor when The Great Economy disregards past infractions and directs itself toward brighter days in the future. These foreigners, after all, might need to understand that our dedication to the Constitution can be reasonably mitigated, that is, we can tolerate such violations and move on, when the time and effort to pursue them would inconvenience our traditional, pragmatic interest in progress and growth.

Such a presumption might be more destructive to our international perception than all the ill conceived nonsense of the autocrat we will discard. We will simply consider the comparative down side of such an image as it is balanced by our previous “faith based” disaster relief, abstinence based AIDS relief and free-market ideology and “faith-based” designs for national reconstruction (after our “shock and awe” approach to “faith-based” regime change and its inevitable, “faith-based” post-bombing house cleaning).

The world might, finally, comprehend. The phrase, “Oh those Americans! No matter. Boys will be boys.” might be the seed for a new, more positive world view of our culture, but, unhappily, the disastrous opposite might more likely be the case. Can we, as a nation, dare to continue our insipid claim that “Gee, it seemed like a good thing for us to do at the time.” as a panacea for all these tragedies of our past greed and our past fear?

We might need to think a bit more seriously. We might find ourselves formulating a new message to our leaders.

“If your plan involves handing our tax money over to your cronies so they will support your campaigns, if your plan involves dropping bombs from the planes we citizens have paid for, if your plan requires holding people for years without lawyers, trials or charges, if your plan defines the cunning required to prepare the electorate to vote against its own interests as a result of your deceptions, we are not interested in your plan.”

“Please be advised. We have become a little more testy about being made into patsies. Many thousands of us have graduated from the Bush School with advance degrees and the scars from our long painful studies.”