Oligarchy: Three Voices Speak Out

A Soothing Disclaimer from the Stupendously Banal

Don't tarry too long -- we'll be "facing facts" soon enough.

There are plenty of folks who will nod in acquiescence when one proclaims "This world really hasn't changed much." Of course there's no telling what "thought model" has encouraged this human audience to tacitly agree with such an un-quantified proposition, but in such sweeping -- and dramatically poetic -- laments, we need not demand too "high a bar" as to the quality of information, observation and logic which might be driving us to such a conclusion.

In 2015 A.D the world has more than sufficient history behind it to draw some quite conservative conclusions about this "hasn't changed much" idea. Naturally, although the modern technological availability of such a literal glacier of "things" ranging from electric radios to steel belted tires might serve to counter this common argument on the plane of contradicting, material manifestations, other features of life on the planet appear to this particular "interested observer" as a sequence of copies, each following the previous by some varied duration of years, decades or centuries.

The point here is that because the technology which supports our modern social civilization is advancing so rapidly, we have become immured to such fundamental changes. For example, when we see an advertisement for the latest electronic gadget, we are not shocked. Instead, we are probably considering whether or not we can afford to buy one for ourselves.

An additional factor which seems to complicate our efforts as observers is the understandable attachment of our consciousness to material things. When we set our efforts to observing changes which are not manifest in material things, our perspicacity seems to falter. This allows the non-material to seem able to "creep up" on us, arriving without warning or, at least, without any sort of civil announcement.

This may all seem a little abstract, but this is the case with the "creeping" oligarchy which is presently threading its way throughout the country. From one moment to the next -- or from one day to the next -- there seems to be very little changing, but the undercurrent is as strong and relentless as a rip tide. Further, although the uselessly obedient media casts this picture into a chaos of coincidence -- and sometimes, simply out right mystery -- every molecule of that undercurrent is marching in lockstep, and the constant, unwavering destination of that march is total, albeit almost unnoticed, oligarchy.

There are voices heralding this danger of rapidly approaching, saturating oligarchy -- admittedly voices reaching far more eyes and ears than a quiet little high desert blog from Albuquerque, but these voices are reduced to mere uncertain quivers compared to the monolithic roar and rage of the "pretend" media which currently serves those billionaires who host such great ambitions.

Ironically, even the very public servants of those same oligarchs are citing the danger -- for other countries, of course -- from pulpits as unlikely as those of the GOP debates in speeches where every sold out word has been carefully scripted by a wholly owned think tank somewhere.

MeanMesa is fascinated by this flow of little "twists and turns" as oligarchy is defined, insinuated, redefined, denied or simply brought forth to be inserted into casual conversations amid intentionally drifting prognostications deceptively muttered. There seem to be very few "unknowns" remaining in the new economy's "journey" from where we are to where we are going. The image of the new oligarchy is emerging from the fog as we speak.

Perhaps this is an auspicious opportunity to blog a little about what these old eyes are watching.

Three Voices Speaking to the Peril

It's no surprise that the billionaires have forbidden "chatting up" the topic too much.
Their obedient media is busy with ISIS, gay marriage, gun control and abortion.

There are, no doubt, more than three folks speaking about the subject of oligarchy, but -- not many more. It is an unusually upsetting topic for Americans at our level. There is practically nothing to be said in its favor among the great "middle swath" of the population [MeanMesa is reluctant to use the term, "middle class," to describe the broken, bruised and blistered survivors of the Great Republican Looting Festival of 2008.]. By this it is meant that, for example, it would be almost inconceivable to imagine a mob marching down the street in an American city demanding "OLIGARCHY NOW!"

This lack of discourse is, if not suspicious, at least quite eerie. One might think that an approaching change of such magnitude and one promising such far reaching, penetrating effects on both daily lives and future dreams would be a common topic over every back yard picket fence and every broken down water cooler -- you know, "screamed from every rooftop."

This post is about three individuals in the American "public arena" who are speaking about the approaching oligarchy. There has probably never been a more egregious case of well financed treason in the Fourth Estate.

The three men appearing on MeanMesa's list of "outspoken oligarchy commentators" are worthy of examination because all three hold the ear of their own, significant audience. As for message, two are heralding a warning while the third has "chopped, minced and pickled" the subject for his political survival.

Amid the direr vacuum of public discussion concerning this, it turns out that it's very easy to "get on MeanMesa's list." Any public figure so much as even mentioning the term is automatically qualified. Let's have a look at three of these public faces.

1. Thom Hartmann

Progressive Radio Host, "The Thom Hartmann Show"

1350AM, KABQ Albuquerque, 10AM to 1PM weekdays

Old people -- like MeanMesa -- listen to the radio. Because the wing nut billionaires who currently own most of the industry broadcast their hate radio toxin over more hundreds of stations and for more hundreds of hours daily -- a rate of 400 to 1 when compared to the number of hours progressive or any other voices can be heard -- it is always a reassuring pleasure to encounter such "an exceptional exception" as The Thom Hartmann Show.

Thom Hartmann - US domestic talk radio host who
routinely talks about the encroaching oligarchy.
[image]

Hartmann has famously stated his policy, "I don't want to be afraid that politicians will cut off my access because I ask them hard follow up questions in interviews." 

As one samples the various options of what serves as broadcast reporting, particularly talk shows presenting interviews, Hartmann's admirable policy is immediately noticeable. Thom Hartmann reveals himself as extremely well informed and very well educated while remaining notably civil while interviewing guests with opposing viewpoints.

The point here is that Hartmann regularly introduces current news stories about the latest ambitious efforts of US billionaires -- those comprising the anti-democracy, oligarch class -- to complete the "economic coup d' etat" of their avaricious dreams. His views of the shady legislative tactics and "suspicious obedience" of the GOP controlled Congress to oligarchic interests are especially valuable.

He speaks openly about dynastic oligarchs and perpetual oligarchy as the ruling factors of the new economic model for the United States. Hartmann is also utterly meticulous about including the sources of this information as he provides it, allowing any still skeptical listeners to verify the information for themselves.

[A MeanMesa note: For international visitors to this blog unable to receive The Thom Hartmann Show as broadcast by domestic radio stations, a podcast service can be purchased here: Thom Hartmann PODCAST. For free listening during the radio show broadcast: Thom Hartmann - Watch Live TV. The show is also broadcast worldwide via US Armed Forces Network, and Hartmann hosts a televised talk show called "The Big Picture" on the RT network.]

2. Senator Bernie Sanders

US Senator From Vermont

Democratic Party Candidate for US Presidency

If we were to "size" the media fraud which is currently masking any serious reporting about the oligarchic threat, we would quickly encounter another media fraud with roughly the same dimensions. The Bernie Sanders Presidential campaign has consistently attracted larger crowds at campaign rallies than those attending rallies for any other candidate, yet most American voters remain unaware that he is even running in the race. Is there another name for this? It looks like a simple case of sold out media treason to MeanMesa.

Clearly, the scale of such treachery no longer causes much concern to the network executive moguls. These "oligarch wanna-be's" are apparently quite comfortable with their "arrangements" with the billionaires -- they are obviously more concerned with what their masters think of them than they are concerned with what their networks' viewers think of them. Unless you want more of what we currently have, hit the "mute" button.

Let's just say that the billionaires issuing the orders to their wholly owned, uselessly fraudulent media networks are just not that comfortable with the prospect of a democratic socialist becoming a Presidential nominee. Worse, when that democratic socialist is becoming the candidate of choice for the Democratic majority of voters, they are really worried. ["Democratic majority" means that there are significantly more Democratic voters than Republican voters. If this is "news" to you, then you have a "news" problem.]

Senator Bernie Sanders [image]

Sanders is clearly the "visiting glacier" in the oligarchs' "pond." Like a glacier, he's squarely, indisputably there, and the massive crowds filling his campaign rallies -- not to mention his two million small donors -- signal that he can remain as long as he likes. 

It's also becoming clear that those two million small donors have polished their walking shoes in preparation for an almost inconceivably massive door to door canvassing effort. The billionaires presumed that they had successfully castrated the last vestige of such powerful political forces after they had systematically destroyed the labor unions.

He is openly and repeatedly campaigning with proposals to finally limit wealth inequality -- an abhorrent nightmare for the billionaires who have invested so generously in their right wing scheme for taking complete control of the government. Worse, at least for the oligarchs, any candidate who is bad mouthing wealth inequality is, by necessity, also talking about oligarchy.

Sanders' often repeated campaign slogan says it all: "It's time to tell the billionaires that they can't have it all."  Because oligarchy necessarily includes the idea that the billionaires SHOULD have it all, the plutocrats who own the Republican Party are fuming in their cloistered country club back rooms. The first item in their response to this is to order their media servants to absolutely boycott any reporting whatsoever about the Sanders' campaign.

The uncontrollable Donald Trump actually called Sanders a "whacko" who will give away free stuff. A couple of the mouth junk "stars" working at the oligarchs' networks were ordered to casually drop the narrative that Sanders' proposals would cost the country $17 Tn in ten years. Notably, the missing element in that pitch was any reassurance that the oligarchy wouldn't become permanently cemented into place if Sanders were not elected President.

MeanMesa has noticed an interesting, albeit subtle, change in the commonly used terms of the Sanders campaign. Apparently, using the term "oligarchy" was simply too taxing for the failed education level of too many otherwise sympathetic Sanders supporters. These voters may not be able to entirely understand the meaning of "oligarch," but -- believe MeanMesa -- they can understand the meaning of "billionaire."

Most of the electorate still have plenty of the bruises, scars and terror which was so evenly distributed to them the last time the billionaires were in charge. Remember the date: 

2008. 

It is going to become the Republican Party's worst, unrelenting toothache by the time November of 2016 arrives.

3. Senator Rafael [Ted] Cruz, Jr.

GOP Tantrum Thrower and Government Shut Down Expert

Nationally famous Right Wing religious bigot,

Jr. Senator from Texas and Presidential Candidate

It is not a coincidences that the faces of contemporary oligarchs appear almost exclusively [MeanMesa notes that a number of corporate, bankster class "oligarch wanna be's" are contributing heavily to the Clinton Primary campaign. However, rather than supporting any sort of Democratic policy proposals, MeanMesa considers these "contributions" to be "damage control" laid aside early on in the event that a Democrat becomes the next President.] among the "cash cow" donors of the Republican Party. Among the billionaire class available cash reserves have already proven to be effortlessly sufficient to render state level democracy extinct -- a large majority of individual states have now "elected" entire state level governments entirely controlled by GOP operatives and their regimes.

These states now serving as the equivalent of living "blood donors" under red control are easy to spot -- most of them are now tattered, economic basket cases.

Nonetheless, the GOP is living up to its well earned reputation as a fetid denizen of utter skunk striped wing nuts. While the billionaires have ordered their wholly owned media to focus unceasingly on Donald Trump, there turns out to be "another strange one" waiting in the wings. A really, really strange one.

Oligarchy From the Pulpit

The Rafael Cruz Couple - Pastor Daddy and Senator Son [image]

Because this post specifically intends to identify public figures who are currently speaking openly about oligarchy, we must add Rafael Cruz to our list. MeanMesa must also note that what Rafael is saying about oligarchy is quite removed from the messages Thom Hartmann and Senator Sanders are delivering. Let's begin with a quotation from Pastor Rafael Cruz, father of the Texas Senator, Rafael Junior:

FLASHBACK: Rafael Cruz Calls Son, Ted Cruz, an ‘Anointed King’ Responsible for ‘The End Time Transfer of Wealth’

[Read the original article at AATTP.org]

We can see from this arrogant, albeit rather dated, religionist nonsense that Rafael has also been thinking about just what help he might render to the establishment of the US oligarchy -- after all, the compensation could be staggering if, afterward, the billionaire winners are inclined to pay their faithful servants and ground troops. For "normal, run of the mill" billionaires the simple prospect of owning everything and everybody in the nation is attraction enough, but for thinly disguised Dominionists such as Cruz, the imagined possibilities look more like a blend of the medieval Oberammergau Passion Play and a blood soaked, WalMart abattoir shrink wrapping fresh pork chops on a high speed conveyor belt.

MeanMesa instantly and humbly admits this blogger has no capacity whatsoever to embellish this article from Americans Against the Tea Party. [AATTP]

Americans Against the Tea Party

Posted by: Josh Kilburn 

 Election 2016

Ted Cruz recently announced his intention to run for presidency, so it’s worthwhile to take a look back at the sort of environment that he comes from, and what his influencing beliefs are.

In a sermon last year, Rafael Cruz said that his son is among the evangelical Christians who are anointed as “kings” to take control of all sectors of society. This is a Christian dominionist agenda that’s commonly called the “Seven Mountains” mandate: (1) Business; (2) Government; (3) Media; (4) Arts and Entertainment; (5) Education; (6) Family; and (7) Religion. If “Seven Mountains” is too abstract, “Creeping Christofascism” puts a much finer point to it.

In fulfilling the “Seven Mountains” Mandate, Rafael Cruz said that his son and other “anointed kings” would help bring about a “prophesied great transfer of wealth” from the “wicked” to the “righteous gentile believer.”

Rafael Cruz said that they are “Kings who are anointed to go to war, win the war, and bring the spoils of war to the priests.”

In the wake of the speech, Ted Cruz was blessed and anointed by prominent dominionist pastors, in effect making him a “king” in the political/governmental sense, at a special ceremony held at a Marriott Hotel in Des Moines, Iowa in 2013.

Ted Cruz made his first political speech at Liberty University, and the University mandated student attendance. Given that Liberty University is the religious institution of Jerry Falwell, who was influenced by dominionist pastor R. J. Rushdoony (the grandfather of dominionism, a strong influence on Rafael Cruz as well), it should surprise exactly nobody that they would give Cruz this sort of deference.

While giving a guest sermon in 2012 at Larry Huch’s megachurch in Irving, Texas, Rafael Cruz explained that:

“The pastor [Huch] referred to Proverbs 13:22, a little while ago, which says that the wealth of the wicked is stored for the righteous. And it is through the kings, anointed to take dominion, that that transfer of wealth is going to occur. God, even though he’s sovereign, even though he’s omnipotent, he doesn’t let it rain out of the sky – he’s going to use people to do it.”

In return, Hutch spoke about Cruz’s son:

“I know that’s why God got Rafael’s son elected – Ted Cruz, the next Senator. But here’s the exciting thing – and that’s why I know it’s timely for him to teach this, and bring this anointing. This will begin what we call the “End Time Transfer of Wealth.”

“And that when these gentiles begin to receive this blessing, they will never go back financially through the valley again. God is looking at the church, and everyone in it, and deciding, in the next 3 and 1/2 years, who will be his bankers. And the ones that say, ‘Here am I, Lord, you can trust me’, we will become so blessed that we will usher in the coming of the Messiah.”

So what is this “End Times Transfer of Wealth?”

It’s the belief that the Kingdom — which is the name given to the vast Global Caliphate that Dominionists want to set up — will remove the wealth from the sinners and give it to the church. This will play a role in the beginning of the Second Coming.

So what role does Ted Cruz play in this? He’s announced a bid at the presidency, after all.

While I can only speculate, I think the better question is, “do we want to find out?”

Dominionist Billionaires and Their Check Books

The GOP's plutocrats are circling like a horde of locusts.

Hungry locusts.

Locusts who brought along their preachers.

First of all, we must immediately disabuse ourselves of any lingering suspicion that the billionaires care "one whit" about the "return of Christ" or the "kingdom of God." Every iota of this over-financed nonsense is intended for consumption by the fickle voters in the GOP's already dangerously unstable, evangelical base. At this point in Cruz's shoddy Passion Play the only thing topping the cynicism may be the irony.

President Jimmy Carter:

The United States is an “Oligarchy With Unlimited Political Bribery.” 

The Owners of the Republican Party have already amassed a notably large war chest to finance their 2016 gambit. 

"For the first time in more than a century, most of the funding for a presidential election is being donated in amounts of six figures or more from corporations and wealthy individuals. Roughly a third of the more than $380 million already raised for the 2016 election comes from less than 60 donations, according to the Associated Press." 

*** 

"Jeb Bush’s largest Super PAC has already raised $103 million, most of it collected before he even officially declared that he was running for president. At least 20 individuals wrote checks to Bush’s Super PAC for $1 million or more, and an estimated 236 checks were received for $100,000 or more." [This is what oligarchy looks like.]

Well, Rafael had no intention of missing out on his own fund raising efforts. The bat sh**t crazy dog and pony show his father added to the mix spurred plenty of donations for the pious Texan.

"It took Ted Cruz three months to raise $10 million, according to the same AP account. He then more than doubled the size of his coffers by collecting $11 million with a single check from a hedge funder." [This is what oligarchy looks like.]

No Need to Suffer From an "Irony" Deficiency

The really juicy parts of the carnival are just beginning!

Earl of Casino du Manchu,
 Billionaire Sheldon Adelson [image]

Among other notably troubling topics, Senator Cruz's rambling, tangential reference to our oligarchic future was delivered in a speech in a lush Las Vegas casino complex owned by none other than one of America's most ambitious and flamboyant oligarchs. This was cynicism at its utmost.

Still, the rank of file of GOP "true believers" patiently awaiting "prosperity's onslaught" in their aging house trailers saw absolutely nothing contradictory in the paradoxical political soup. While most of these unfortunate, beer guzzling souls have only a passing interest in being counted among Cruz's "righteous" -- and sitting on the receiving end of his "end times wealth redistribution from the wicked to the pious" -- they are almost hypnotically impressed by the lights and sirens of a Sheldon Show not to mention, of course, the women.

MeanMesa suspects that it's very unlikely that 5% of this crowd have any idea what "oligarchy" means. Good work, Fourth Estate and US public education.

Sheldon Adelson is a "mid-range" US oligarch [total wealth < $40 Bn] with the primary political interests in 1. avoiding Federal Foreign Corrupt Practices Act prosecution for bribing his casinos into the Peoples Republic of China [REUTERS], 2. legalizing on-line gambling in the US, and 3. using the US military to attack Iran, handing the smoldering remains to Israel. MeanMesa has posted about this war-mongering character before:

Interview With An Oligarch - MeanMesa

[Laughter is the best medicine...]

So...we have a nit wit Canadian evangelical Dominionist speaking in a Las Vegas casino owned by a violently irrational US oligarch talking about religious oligarchy.

Minimum Daily Requirement: Irony

GOP Presidential Politics

GOP's Minimum Daily Requirement - Looting/MeanMesa

Interview With An Oligarch

Just for fun -- take a break from the political grind!  Visit the first days of the Adelson/Romney Presidency.

A MeanMesa Future History

A Dark and Frightening Novella
An Interview With An Oligarch

No! No!  Interview with an OLIGARCH!  AN OLIGARCH! (image source)

Introduction:

It is a couple of months into the Adelson/Romney Presidency.  The newly elected President, Mitt Romney, is enjoying a suspiciously thorough victory which has delivered both the House of Representatives and the Senate into Republican hands.

Sheldon Adelson, exercising his new Citizens United legality, has poured hundreds or possibly thousands of millions of dollars into the Romney campaign.  His influence on the government is now a fait accompli recognized by both Romney supporters and others.  Sheldon has tastefully avoided moving into permanent White House quarters after the violent public protest problems following the vote count.

MeanMesa Galactic Headquarters

The Delivery

The invitation to interview Adelson came as a complete surprise when it arrived at MeanMesa Galactic Headquarters.  The immense limousine was so long that it couldn't even navigate the parking lot in front facing the entrance to the Headquarters offices.  When the rather stuffy, liveried servant approached the city desk to silently deposit the faux gilded personal envelope with the now famous Adelson "A" monogram in pearlescent plastic embossed in its center, the entire office froze.

A few of the staff frantically exited the building while a few others, the level headed bunch, screamed to call the bomb squad as they desperately snatched the thumb drives from their computers.  When it was clear that the envelope was, in fact, not a bomb, it was ceremoniously and quite tenderly opened as most of the MeanMesa editorial staff looked on, transfixed.

The envelope's contents seemed to flow out into a limpid pool on the desk, revealing a message which could be read while still not so much as touching the card itself.  The predictably gaudy array of "titles" commenced almost immediately, leaving only room for a couple of lines of actual message toward the bottom of the thing.

There were a lot of media types who would have not so much as even flinched to sacrifice their right hand for a chance to interview the unquestioned "power behind the throne" of the lack lustre Romney Presidency.  The man had been understandably private even during his weekly $100 Million dollar contributions to the flagging Romney for President campaign.

Rumor had it that Adelson ponied up $400 Million all at once just to ease the Mormon's angst.  Prior to embracing Romney, Adelson's favorite had been the hard hitting ex-Speaker, and it had been Adelson who concocted all the hate that Gingrich had dumped on Mitt during the Primary.  Adelson, infamous for "letting by gones be by gones," may have spurred the Newt to sharpen the long blades during that fight, but once the thing had been decided by the Party's owners, the gambling magnate slithered comfortably into the Romney camp almost instantly.

Oh sure, there had been the anticipated outrage over the voting irregularities and there had even been a bit of a hoo haw in the streets just before the heavily guarded Inauguration, but now, only a couple of months later, things had returned to a dull state which most observers would concede was "about as normal as it was going to get."  

The Limousine Calls

The offer to send the car was routine.  Adelson had grown understandably paranoid after the long series of failed bomb attacks and the assassination attempts, but the old bird still had plenty of hubris,  lots of cash and nerves of steel.  No vehicle which was not part of the magnate's security system could penetrate the myriad of locked gates and check points which punctuated the long road to the mansion proper.  Even President Romney had to abandon the "beast," disarm his Secret Service contingent and take his place in one of the Adelson limos in order to pay a visit -- all of which he, of course, did eagerly.

On the appointed day, MeanMesa waited patiently at the curb in from of the Headquarters building.  An impressive, obviously armored, limousine with heavily tinted windows seemed to suddenly appear in a silent rush.  As it came to a stop, the driver remained behind the wheel while another man, also dressed in a tuxedo, quickly stepped out to open the rear door.

Once inside, a beautiful woman was waiting.  She was the "protocol secretary" who was responsible for the proper behavior from all of Adelson's guests. She introduced herself as Miss Grey.

Protocol Secretary -- actual photo prohibited (image source)

"We have a few minutes to talk before we arrive at the gates to the castle. There are a few things we should go over to prevent any unpleasantness during your interview."  She rambled uninterestedly.  "First, do you have any questions?"

"Well yes, there are a couple of things.  Maybe the first thing on my mind is why Mr. Adelson offered MeanMesa an opportunity for an interview at all?  Of course I'm delighted for the chance, but, well, MeanMesa just seems like an unusual choice."  I responded cautiously.

"That's none of your affair.  His Grace always has very good reasons for the decisions He makes.  When that decision is to interview with MeanMesa, that is simply the decision.  I would have assumed that, by now, you might have had a better understanding of how this works."  Miss Grey rambled.  She had obviously been through similar conversations in the past.

"This is your summary of interview regulations.  The Kevlar case has a security identification chip which will allow you to take it with you through the strip search and x-ray check point."  Miss Grey nonchalantly handed over a bullet proof, transparent plastic case with a single sheet of paper inside.

"I'm also a little nervous about the titles.  I've heard a number of different titles used by various people when addressing Mr. Adelson.  What is the appropriate title for me to use during the interview?"  I asked.  "In fact, how did Mr. Adelson wind up with so many different titles?"

"Well, first of all, every one of Mr. Adelson's titles is completely legitimate.  A respectful and grateful Congress has bestowed each and every one of them on Him as an act of the deepest gratitude for the 'democracy-work' He's performed for the country."  Miss Grey had clearly gone through this explanation before, too.

"During the interview you should begin by addressing Mr. Adelson as 'Your Eminence,' but only for the first or second times.  After that, if Mr. Adelson seems to be in a pleasant mood, you should begin to address Him simply as 'Governor General' or 'Liberty Viceroy Adelson.'  However, if you notice that He is becoming perturbed in any way, you should begin at once to address him as 'Father Protector of Capitalism and Peace' or, perhaps, simply as 'Enlightened One.'  I'm sure that you've heard what kind of things can happen should Mr. Adelson begin to feel unappreciated or otherwise uncomfortable during an interview like this one."  Miss Grey stared out the window as she droned on and on.

The magnate had a very bad, infamous reputation for not tolerating even the most subtle disrespect or defiance from those who were allowed into the inner chamber of the mansion.

"Also, I usually suggest that you compliment 'First Citizen Adelson' on his home and furnishings.  Many of the things you'll see inside came directly from the liberated palaces of Sadam Hussein and Moammar Gadhafi.  The 'Prelate Cardinal' considers all of this to be a 'gift from God to the righteous.'"  She added.

"I notice that, while 'First Citizen Adelson' is a practising Jew and a staunch proponent of the expansion of Israeli colonial dominance, many of the the titles are much more Catholic than Jewish.  How did that happen?"  I had to ask.

"As the universally ordained 'Defender of the Sacred Western Freedom,' Cardinal Prelate Guardian Adelson has embraced the authoritarian quality of the Catholic Faith as one which can be useful in the rehabilitation of the country.  His good friend and staunch, indentured supporter, President Romney, completely, totally and energetically agrees with this."  Miss Grey answered.

"Of course, both President Romney and 'Inspired Gift From the God of the Old Testament Adelson' are 'uniters.'  The whole country can now appreciate how much better things have become once the Great Free Market Faith Traditions of Judaic Freedom, Mormon Confidence and Catholic Obedience have been reconciled and amalgamated to found the Faith of the New Prosperity.  Many of us who love 'Prophet and Protector Adelson' as a sort of Earthly Servant to the Deity think of Him literally as Moses' Honorary Brother, and, in fact, He does, occasionally, use Romanized versions of Judaic titles such as 'Rabbinus Perpetualus' when He feels  a need to connect His prophetic qualities to his own heritage." she continued.

By this point my head was spinning.  I frantically searched through the remnants of my cogency for some stable refuge from Miss Grey's glacial barrage of talking points and titles.

The giant limousine had now stopped at the first of the check points.  The assistant to the driver opened the door to allow me to exit.  Once again, Miss Grey acted as if she were the only person in the car.  There was no "Good luck" or "Have a good interview."  Absolutely nothing beyond a blank stare and steely silence filled the passenger compartment.  I suddenly realized that what had seemed to be the woman, Miss Grey, had actually been an android, permanently mounted on that rear seat.  This was the predictable bent of Adelson's paranoia about security.

Clutching the plastic coated sheet with my interview rules, I stripped off all my clothes and carefully placed them in a basket.  One of the guards handed me some poorly fitting orange coveralls and a new pair of thongs, still wrapped in heat shrink film from the Chinese factory where they had been made.

I was hustled into a fresh limousine which had appeared from inside the compound.  This time, the passenger compartment was completely empty aside from myself.  There was an overwhelming presence of some sort of noxious antiseptic gas.

"Adelson Acres" -- actual photo prohibited.  (image source)

Zipping silently along the tree lined approach, within a few minutes the thing  arrived at the castle proper.  Amazingly, the place was completely deserted.  As if in a creepy sort of science fiction script, the limo door opened automatically, closing again when I had stepped out.  The main door to the palace automatically swung open in a similar way as I approached. 

Once inside, the lights in an immense atrium blinked on only after I had stepped inside.  I wasn't sure if it were just my imagination, but I seemed to feel another sweep of powerful x-rays passing through my body.  The thing looked like an out of control Holiday Inn from the 1950's -- one where the facility's decorators enjoyed a permanent contract and just kept going, year after year.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by six large guards dressed in the uniform of IDF (Israeli Defense Force) officers.  They were all bedecked with mirrored sun glasses, and each one held a fully loaded automatic Uzi.  Wordlessly, one gestured that I should walk in the center of a sort of phalanx they had quickly formed around me.  We made our way some distance through the entry chamber of the mansion to a heavily fortified steel door with two more guards standing on either side.

The soldiers saluted each other, and one of the guards at the door checked his watch.  He informed the guards in my escort that the door would unlock in 90 seconds, at which time, I was to be escorted inside.

When the massive door opened, I could see that it was quite similar to a bank vault.  Once inside, the thing rolled closed again almost at once.

I found myself in another grand room which must have been a hundred yards long and twenty or thirty yards wide.  The decor in this inner chamber was even more grotesque than the unsettlingly tasteless atrium had been.  I now understood just how many "decorative items" His Grace had lifted from the ruins of the liberated Hussein palace in Baghdad.

Throne Room for His Grace -- actual photo prohibited (image source)

There were gigantic mirrors along a colonade set into both walls.  Giant paintings, most darkened to illegibility by age, punctuated the glaring reflection of huge, overly done, overly bright chandeliers which dangled in a string down the center.  There were sculptures, but every one of them was of too small a size for the burden of balance in the room.  It was impossible to even speculate what they might have represented from this distance.

Everything which hadn't been stolen from one of Sadam's wrecked palaces was just as cheap as everything which had been stolen.  Things seemed uniformly, well, greasy.

The immense room was clearly divided into "regions."  As one moved from the entrance toward the far end of the place, a series of three dias-like steps ascended from the floor where I stood to a gaudy, Sadam-style throne at the top.  Next to the throne proper was an ever so slightly less magnificent, ever so slightly smaller throne with the Presidential Seal clearly visible on the chair's back.

Looking quickly around the gigantic room, all sorts of other unexpected things could be seen.  For example, off to one side, a row of uniformly clad "brokers" sat at a long row of desks making trades based on information displayed on a series of computer screens.  Each one wore a green visor and rubber bands on each sleeve of the white long sleeve shirt which was clearly the uniform of the day.

Over their heads, a huge computerized board displayed a constant total of Magnate Adelson's wealth in dollars.  When the number was increasing, the screen was green, and when the numbers decreased, the characters turned a blood red.  I watched as a subtle trade made somewhere along the row of desks impacted the "rate of profit."  A clanking, mechanical red arrow advanced along a track at the bottom of the screen until it pointed down at one of the traders.

An obnoxious little bell rang once when the arrow stopped.

The man's face was instantly filled with abject terror.  He looked around to his fellow workers, desperately seeking assistance from any of them, but, pointedly ignoring his predicament, they steadfastly continued their frenzied infatuation with the trading screens.  From no where three more of the IDF clad guards in sun glasses appeared, roughly snatching the man at whom the arrow had pointed.  I saw the glint of a syringe in the dimly lit place, the man collapsed, a frightened young replacement scurried in to take his seat and the now unconscious victim was quickly dragged away.

Adelson, himself, sat, uninterested in the events on the floor three levels below his great chair.  He was wrapped in a hideous, multi-colored cape heavily bedecked with jewels and satin ribbons.  All of the jewels looked quite real.

A man who looked very much like a Swiss Papal guard stepped forward onto the middle level of the dias, loudly thumping his ornate, ceremonial peltate as if to catch my attention.  Another, lesser, toadie scuttled quickly to remove a kneeling cushion which had been left before the throne on the room's floor level by the last supplicant.  This signalled permission for me to approach.  At last my interview was to begin in earnest.

I was frantically reviewing all the flood of possible titles in search of the best choice.  Adelson himself seemed to be drilling through my face with eyes like bottomless black pits.  As it turned out, my hesitation was actually an elementary display of reverence and protocol.

The man on the throne began to speak.  It was clear that his voice was being amplified by some unseen mechanism, probably something hidden among the the gilded gargoyles and glitter of the throne itself -- it seemed to boom after it was broadcast through the myriad of speakers around the dias, but the words were also awkwardly delayed from the physical motion of the man's mouth and lips.

I frantically looked down at the interview guidelines which Sheldon's protocol secretary had provided to me in the limousine.

"First Citizen Monsignor, thank you for granting me the honor of an interview. My first question deals with Your Eminence's selection of MeanMesa.  Can You explain why such a small outlet as MeanMesa was chosen over some larger, grander media enterprise?" I began nervously.

"WE have chosen MeanMesa exactly because it is a small, inconsequential and inconspicuous media outlet which will provide an opportunity to measure the public response to OUR latest decisions.  Today, WE are announcing several important new policy decisions, and WE are mildly interested in a small sampling of the public response."  The amplified sound which now seemed to ooze from every corner of the entire dias was irritatingly detached from the man's which could now be heard faintly through the amplified signal.  It seemed as if Adelson was saying everything twice.

"Your Grace, will you now indulge me with the announcements You've decided to make?"  My efforts at appearing sincerely scraping seemed to placate Adelson.

"Yes, WE shall.  You remember to report exactly what has been said here just as MY protocol secretary, Ms. Grey, has instructed you.  You will report these two announcements in the order you have received them."  The magnate boomed.

"Of course, my Duke.  I am Your eager servant for all such matters."  I thought that the faux humility in this response was particularly pungent.

"Very well then.  Pay careful attention so there will be no mistakes or confusion.  First, the people of the United States have expressed a complete eagerness and an entirely favorable opinion with respect to the immediate invasion and liberation of Iran.  Thousands and thousands of the nation's teenagers will be leaving their expensive and ineffective high schools for military training in the next few days following the President's order for a general mobilization."  He was obviously reading from some sort of tele-prompter although none was visible from where I was standing.

"But Highness, it seemed as if the American people had grown tired of Middle Eastern Wars.  Does President Romney actually intend to issue an order like this?"  Afterwards, I realized that I had asked the question too quickly, but the announcement had taken me by surprise.

"Naturally, President Romney completely agrees with my idea that this will be the best possible course.  Both he and I understand that immediate ground war with Iran will permanently solve the unemployment problem for this conscript age group in the US.  I've asked a few of MY own friends and acquaintances about the proposal.  At first, some seemed reluctant, but when WE spoke further about dividing up the liberated oil reserves, opinion settled into a strong positive.  This is clearly the will of the American people.  It's the job of tiny germs like MeanMesa to make it even more popular -- or else."  Now it was impossible to tell if Adelson was still continuing to read his prompter or had simply slipped into bombast.

"Of course, Excellency.  Is there more?"  He had mentioned two announcements before the war proclamation.

"Yes.  The President and the Congress have decided to further elevate the Baroness Bachmann du Minesotaya to the official position of Royal Queen Princess  Michele I as a token of their great appreciation of Her work for the furthering of democracy in the Republic.  Her escort will become Marguis Marcus. The Coronation for the Royal Bachmann Family will be this evening.  For security reasons, no commoners will attend."  The old bird continued.

Royal Princess Michele I, Adelson's Queen of Iran (image source)

"Royal Queen Princess Michele I, Glorious Protector of the Faith,  will be installed as the Rightful Absolute Monarch of the new Kingdom of Iran once OUR armies have established ownership there."

There was a pause.  Adelson seemed to be staring through me even more than before.  He was clearly thinking of anything he wished to add to the MeanMesa story.  Finally, I cautiously broke the gloomy silence.

"MeanMesa is, naturally, always eager to fulfil its duties as a responsible media outlet, Lord Protector of Democracy. Will there be anything further?"

"There remains just a few minor details to be noted.  An appreciative Congress has passed a new bill which makes it a felony to report any news whatsoever about OUR Chinese connections, about OUR tax returns or about dogs on station wagons.  President Romney has wisely signed this into law this morning."

"You weren't thinking of mentioning this in your MeanMesa report were you?"

"Oh no!  Of course not, Prophet Prelate Adelson!  MeanMesa will only be reporting the facts which have been officially approved for reporting."  I rushed to reassure the magnate before he spun off into one his lethally dangerous little tantrums.

"Very well then.  This interview is finished."  The magnate signalled to someone behind the drapes which framed the throne.

The amplifying system scratched off line loudly as my personal phalanx of heavily armed guards quickly reappeared around me.  Following the instructions in the protocol for the audience, I carefully took three steps backwards, bowed deeply and turned to walk out of the throne room.  The clang of the massive steel door closing and the hum of the steel rods sliding into the bomb proof frame actually sounded reassuring.

The remainder of this tale is of little importance here.  The trip back to Galactic Headquarters was uneventful, but upon arriving it was obvious that the entire staff of MeanMesa had been removed and replaced with a strange, thuggish bunch with nearly opaque sun glasses and very, very little to say.

As MeanMesa visitors can see, this story was carefully and accurately reported.