No Cake and No Candles at the Big "Irony Party"
MeanMesa is not usually particularly interested in another expedition to breathlessly unveil the ironic. Typically, discussions of such matters tend to be a bit smarmy and lifeless, populated with fantastic laments and crushing pessimism, faux "bright shiny objects" interesting only to those already invested in the darkness.
However, destiny itself occasionally breaks the tedious malaise which is the predictable companion of the hours in coffee shops -- always accompanied with the sighs, of course -- which we are prone to spend bemoaning the outrage of the latest crop of these ironies which has beset our otherwise dismally uneventful world. Now, irony-wise, what had traditionally been rare, tasty figments for our complaints has become "a tide at flood."
Bedfellows-wise, the hybrid seeds have sprouted like New Mexico milk weeds after a rainy spring. Let's look at a few of these unlikely alliances.
1. Catholics and Mormons
Mere weeks ago, the "men in dresses" were quietly condemning the Mormons as apostates who had dared rewrite the holy book of the Catholic franchise for their own connivance. Now, as mentioned in a previous MeanMesa post, these same liturgical, Vatican purists find themselves eagerly embracing the very heretical center of their previous outrage and offering themselves as "ground troops" in replacement for the now defunct tea bags.
When the Mormon opened the door of opportunity for the re-subjugation of women, the modern army of Gustavus Adolphus returned as the carnivorous scourge of the Bible belt -- and probably, also Pennsylvania and Ohio.
2. Catholics, Mormons and Evangelicals
Likewise, the self-purified arrogance of the evangelicals was just as eagerly set aside for an unholy union with the anti-uterine Catholics. The "old rugged cross" crowd swallowed their first class reservations to paradise to make an unthinkable alliance with their previously disdained Papist neighbors. Just as unworkable as welding tin to butter, inspiration married obedience.
And, this newly discovered, pragmatic tolerance of these evangelicals didn't stop there.
The Catholics and the Evangelicals had tasted the "sweet nectar" of Mormon cash when their unlikely alliance had savaged homosexuals in California during the Proposition 8 "election." This historically unfathomable dalliance, forged on bloody opportunity, turns out to be a tempting one with enduring attractions.
3. Catholics, Mormons, Evangelicals, Republicans and the Bible
Biblical principles of tolerance, hospitality, peace and compassion were obstacles -- narcotic anathema -- to the looting schemes of the GOP's oligarch class. Unleashing the corporate media on the illiterate base, health care became demonic, minorities were to be feared and hated, Iran was to be bombed and the political concept of "plundering unto Caesar what is Caesar's" became the new golden calf without the Moses.
Every "principle of Jesus" had been systematically dismembered with a craven brutality, elaborately justified at every turn of the screw. Only the parts which were either painful or economically self-elevating were left in place.
Dig out your old Biblical Concordance and review the table of ancient Israel's ultra militarized "good kings." After the repulse of the prehistoric savagery subsides a little, investigate exactly why they are considered to be such "good kings." For these folks, "freedom" means "serfdom instead of outright slavery," not liberty.
4. Zionist, Wahabist and Christian Super PACs
GOP billionaires such as Sheldon Adelson gave tens or hundreds of millions to any primary candidate who promised to attack the Jewish state's nemesis, Iran, with American blood and treasure. As, one after another, the "ripest" of the most bellicose of the primary possibilities spoiled on the tree, the billionaires quickly changed the "pay to" lines on their "freedom of speech," ROI investment checks.
The Citizen United Super PACs provided a new, invisibly legitimate, host for vast sums of smelly money. MeanMesa has been watching "doe eyed" for the first glimmer of evidence that Saudi and Kuwaiti dollars are also patiently wending their way through "cleansing intermediaries" to the campaign war chest of the, of course, latest war monger's Super PAC. Most of the Middle Eastern dictators are shopping for a low cost, bargain basement vengeance on the Persians paid in full by Americans who will be the only ones left with bloody hands -- and even emptier purses.
5. Debt Haters and Debt Creators
After the lawyers at Freedom Works incited dozens of drooling tea bags into a frenzy with "barely legal" assertions about the national debt a couple of years ago, spending cuts and a grotesque, suspiciously targeted, sort of clanky, pointless austerity became all the rage -- enough of a rage to usher an unprecedented clutch of adolescent tea bag crooks, ne'er do wells and opportunists into a House majority. The modern product of this newly forged power -- for example, the Ryan budget -- is, of course, a predictable "second wave" of an identical debt catastrophe.
Characterized as "marvelous" by the GOPCon Presidential nominee, the Ryan budget would borrow an additional $5 Tn or so to finance more tax cuts for the oligarchs and their corporations.
Sobering up following this "Normandy Landing" of sudden political power, the House tea bags have now robustly demonstrated that they have absolutely no idea about what to do next. The gaseous tea bag "groundswell" has been relegated to the parks' nearest litter can while the nova-faux Republicans gleefully ban Sharia Law in Oklahoma, name post offices and fiddle while the economy continues to burn.
Feeling even more, quite justifiably, cynical and deceived, the now discarded tea bag horde finds itself in its new resting place under the bus. The tea bags wanted less debt, but they elected debt creators beyond the scope of anything they had seen in the past.
6. Lovers Infatuated with Simultaneously Larger and Smaller Government
Everyone saw the paradoxical glory of the "Keep Big Government Away From My Medicare" signs at those tea bag "rallies," too. However, at both the state and federal levels the small government hacks have now trotted out dozens or hundreds of big government programs.
Suspiciously profitable drug testing for food stamp and unemployment recipients, suspiciously Medieval vaginal movies for women seeking reproductive health services, suspiciously ideological contempt indictments for the Attorney General and even suspiciously 1940's style calls to investigate elected "anti-American" actors in the Congress are just a few of the antithetical "low hanging fruits" which are supposed to still be narcotically tempting to the groaning hill billies in the American Legion bar at midnight.
In the educational vacuum of American politics smaller government is implied to mean lower taxes and greater liberty. The sickening almalgam which has oozed from the ideological purity bunch amounts to little more than an "economy pack" of previously pent up, screwball, illiterate, social vengeance.
Everyone saw the paradoxical glory of the "Keep Big Government Away From My Medicare" signs at those tea bag "rallies," too. However, at both the state and federal levels the small government hacks have now trotted out dozens or hundreds of big government programs.
Suspiciously profitable drug testing for food stamp and unemployment recipients, suspiciously Medieval vaginal movies for women seeking reproductive health services, suspiciously ideological contempt indictments for the Attorney General and even suspiciously 1940's style calls to investigate elected "anti-American" actors in the Congress are just a few of the antithetical "low hanging fruits" which are supposed to still be narcotically tempting to the groaning hill billies in the American Legion bar at midnight.
In the educational vacuum of American politics smaller government is implied to mean lower taxes and greater liberty. The sickening almalgam which has oozed from the ideological purity bunch amounts to little more than an "economy pack" of previously pent up, screwball, illiterate, social vengeance.
Of course, it's not actually Willard himself.
It turns out that religion, political ideology, favorite economic policies, war or peace are all issues set aside easily for this new political base. MeanMesa is sure that Willard, in self-aggrandizing, quiet moments, sees himself as the brilliant populist who has managed to hammer all these traditionally antagonistic political interests together into an razor edged sword which will be ushered into the Oval Office on a tide of suddenly discovered political excitement.
Unfortunately, that "razor edged sword" will be more like a cast iron "wind kite" on a calm day if Presidential power is ever added to the mix. If Willard were in power, all these chaotic voices would immediately commence their respective demands in retributive compensation for a few months of shallow loyalty.
What in the world has put all these players together this way?
If each group had been asked only a few months ago to define the priorities driving them forward, the answers would have spilled all over the table and onto the floor. Yet, we suddenly see all these "cats and dogs" marching more or less coherently in an unexpectedly organized lock step. What, exactly, is the glue holding this thing together?
The answer isn't pretty.
In every case the sign on the tent reads the same. Racism.
At present the influence of the "special interests" controlling the Congress is based on money and avarice. All that would continue, but, added to the vomitous recipe, would be a staggering gang of "special interests" driven by even less comprehensible priorities.
MeanMesa will see you at the polls in November.
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